Jesus had been shot.
For obvious reasons the scene  was intended to cause the viewer great turmoil as the camera man panned over the bullet holes.
But, I felt no turmoil.
Instead, I laughed.
I second guessed my response which at first seemed appalling, and then ...I cried.
Thank you for joining me on this emotional roller coaster.
Hang on, it's gonna be a good ride.

The news story was about a little girl from Iraq named Myriam.  Myriam's town, Qaraqosh, had been invaded in 2014 and she had lost everything.
She had left the reporter speechless when nine year old Myriam giving her first hand account from a refugee camp of how ISIS had destroyed everything dear to her, was asked how she felt about ISIS.  Myriam  had replied, "I will pray for them and forgive them." * READ FULL STORY FROM SAT7.ORG HERE
And this is why I had laughed and cried.
The town's Christians had been driven out. The churches had been demolished. Jesus was shot in some kind of display of  extreme hate and it meant nothing.
Jesus keeps going.

 I scrolled to read the Instagram post of Joshua Harris,  author  of  I Kissed Dating Goodbye who without asking for it had received super-Christian status from his fans,  now stating he was "no longer a Christian. "
The real, unchanging Jesus, it seems, was just too hard core. Joshua informed his fans that he was opting to keep his heart open in the future  to a "different way to practice faith."  I wondered about his followers, those who kissed dating goodbye for Jesus, (even though Jesus never asked them to).  I imagined some tears,  a lot of anger,  an avalanche of media flurry....and then in the end...
Jesus keeps going.

I took all these feelings to the office with me the next day and sometime during the afternoon they boiled over into inspiring conversation with the staff whom I consider to be some of the most inspiring people in the world.
* Katie Schupp, ready to begin her journey to help and heal the wounded hearts and bodies of sexually exploited women. Her first day of university was a few weeks away, her hope, contagious. 
* Andrew Kittelson, founder of MEDFUND, a ministry in Bolivia that among other things takes the hospital to the jungle. Andrew was in the final stages of prepping for the next trip, organizing doctors, volunteers, all the logistics.
* Dan Hennenfent, our Cup of Cold Water Ministries Executive Director, focusing on his team of thirty-two missionaries spread around the globe all while zipping up the details of a two month trip to Mongolia where he would work to unify a destabilized team so they could continue to change the world....together.

That beautiful conversation sealed is forever in my mind because we said things that day that would matter deeply to us in ways not imagined just one week later.
Specifically...
Jesus keeps going.

"Shari. It’s worse than I could have imagined. Total 15 fatalities. Twelve of them are Bolivian MedFund volunteers. "


I had awoken in the middle of the night to my phone lighting up with messages. Instantly I wanted to be sick. It was Andrew’s team. The same team I had fallen asleep praying for. I read on to discover that Andrew was alive and on the scene, pulling his own mission team from the mangled bus, his best of friends....gone.
"It's a disaster!" I cried out, waking my husband up who could only sit and pray over me as I wept. Eventually I went out under the stars to sit with God and pray.

I am a missions mobilizer. In other words, my work each day involves reminding the Church that we need to GO, our job is not finished yet. For me, missions is my life. So under the stars, imagining What Joey was facing at that moment on a Bolivian hillside, I talked to God about it all. I remember saying, "We're not on the same page." and "Do you know how irreplaceable those precious people are?"
I knew.
I had spent the last two years going church to church and experiencing pastors give me a kind and polite smile when I asked them, "Is there anyone in your church interested in global missions?" Most replied, "We are focusing here on the local community."
I reminded God, "It's not like people are lining up in droves to GO INTO ALL THE WORLD!" and I questioned why He would allow some of His best players to leave the game way before their replacements were even warmed up.
I threw my heart at God, "It feels like I'm recruiting missionaries and then you kill them. "
Then I made some threats. " Maybe I just need to be done...maybe I'm missing something. "
God did not answer, and I'm okay with that.
I know He heard.
I know He was there.

When the sun came up nothing felt the same.

I relied on reports through our director about what was happening in Bolivia, and eventually the shaking began to subside and the dust began to settle on our broken hearts.

When we looked around, we found it true.
The worst thing we could have imagined as a mission board, had indeed taken place. One of our missionaries had lost his team to an accident.
It wasn't a dream.
"It's worse than I could have imagined..."
and Jesus keeps going.

As Heaven would arrange it, our annual GOD'S KIDS GO event happened to be that Tuesday, just forty eight hours away from the tragedy. This was Cup of Cold Water Ministries Day to get the next generation excited about the Great Commission.
None of us felt like telling a room full of children that they were needed for missions. We prepped the day before, printing name tags while we wept and questioned.
And then the kids showed up.
Those bright faces came through the front door and listened as we described the life of a missionary. "SEND ME!" they shouted at the end and our team felt the cost of those little voices as we thought of Andrew and the MEDFUND ACCIDENT.

The truth is, nothing can stop JESUS.
Not Isis,
not betrayal,
not the loss of an entire missions team.
Jesus keeps going.

He continues through hate.
He moves past our opinions of Him.
People,
He HOLDS THE KEYS TO DEATH and HELL.
He is everlasting to everlasting.

JESUS KEEPS GOING.
Even if you shoot Him...