Written By: Shari Tvrdik

As told by Dorie Nilles

If I were going to write my story for 2020, it would not have included the series of unfortunate events that kept me waiting on God for Financial provision. Left me wondering how I would make it all work out and eventually landing me here flat on my back in my bed while I wait in my weakness.

I have been weak before. It was in my darkest days five years ago while on my death bed that God decided I still had work to do for Him. He called me to Africa to share with those Kenyans suffering from mental illness and spiritual darkness what I learned in my thirty-plus years as a psychiatric nurse and life of following Jesus.

I know God uses weak vessels. Yet, I wrestle still with the desire to be strong again so that I can get important things done with God. There are people to love, students to disciple, retreats to be planned. Indeed, I know better than to believe my worth is only in my doing, but let me remind you again, I, Dorie the missionary, am weak, and God loves me still.

Here, in my sickness, I am learning again that in my weakness, He is strong. In my suffering, He is near. Even now, when it seems I am doing nothing for the Lord, I am indeed useful, worth it, valuable to Him.

Perhaps it is here in this weakness, in this dark place, that I am most able to serve my purpose of glorifying His name with my life. If that is so, then Lord let it be.