What happened next shocked me even more. 

Right before Christmas, the door opened for me to take a position with Cup of Cold Water Ministries as their Creative Team Lead. This lead me into a meeting with Kristy Bebar, STM Coordinator for CCWM. I had to meet with her to go over some logistics about posting their STM trips on our Socials. She was headed out on a STM to the Amazon Tributaries the next day. She began to talk about the trip and how we could keep in contact and I found myself asking more and more questions about the trip itself, instead of the questions I was meant to be asking. While she was talking, God spoke to me to go on the next trip. I actually didn’t even know if there was going to be another trip or not when I got the call to go. So, I asked Kristy when the next trip was and again, to my surprise, she said June.

We ended the meeting and I immediately went to my Mom to tell her what had happened. I mean, Bolivia??? I have never had the desire to go there. She was also a bit shocked and reminded me about my husband Jared, and how he told me I could never go. I got in my car to go home and told God, “I will honor my husband. If he says no, then it is a no. So, if you want me to go, you are going to have to change his mind.”

When I got home I began to try to work up the courage to ask him. He must have been able to tell something was up with me because he asked me what was on my mind and that is not a question he usually asks. 

S: “how would you feel about me going on a short term mission trip”

J: “…where?”

S: “ummm, to Bolivia”

J: “ Where in Bolivia?”

S: “…….”

J: “ The Tributaries?”

S: “…yes”

J: “okay, you can go”

WHAT?!?! God is so amazing! Two things about my husband are that he is not a christian, and once he has made his mind up about something, he does not change it. 

Look at what my God can do! My first big confirmation to go! 

So, I began to prepare to go, including finding people to partner with me in fundraising and in prayer.
Then, I discovered I was pregnant. Because of the physical stress that this trip requires, CCWM would not allow me to go while I was pregnant. So, I had to drop out of the trip. I was so excited to have this baby but I was also so confused. I prayed to God a lot during this time asking Him to make sense of it all. How did He call me to Bolivia only to give me the blessing of this baby and have me not be able to go? I know the voice of God. I have been hearing from Him since I was 15 years old. I know His voice and I have been able to discern the voice of others and the voice of myself. So, how had I gotten mixed up this time? 

Then we lost the baby. This process was so brutal and devastating. 

Through this process, I was able to see how I had grown in my faith. Of course I went through all of the emotions: disbelief, anger, exhaustion, guilt, brokenness, numbness, stress. I truly mourned this loss of baby P. But through all of those emotions-JOY. There is a joy with Christ that I didn’t realize I had reached in my walk with Him, until I went through this. I was able to process the loss through the lens of Christ. An eternal perspective and the knowledge that it is all for the glory of God. I don’t have to understand how he works all things for His glory, I just get to rest in the knowledge that He does. 

So, I was able to talk to Kristy and get back on the Bolivia team. God has called me to this mission and given me a heart for the people I will meet along the way. I am so thankful that God is in the business of qualifying the called. I am excited to see what God has for this trip and I am grateful to everyone who will partner with me! 

If you want to partner by giving financially just click the link below that says “send Sarah”. If you just want updates on the trip and are wanting to partner with me through prayer and encouragement, then just scroll down a little bit and put your email address in, then click the “sign up” button to receive all of the updates!