Lie #5
Adapted, with copy right permission, from the book, The Insanity of Obedience by Nik Ripken
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“There is perhaps only one thing more difficult than releasing our own lives into the hands of God, and that is releasing the lives of our loved ones, especially our children.”
“Shari, I realize you don’t know me well, but I want to give you a piece of advice if you’ll be willing to take it.” Beth Alexander was standing before me in her gentle demeanor highlighted by her kind eyes. I didn’t know Beth personally, but of course, I knew of her. Beth was the daughter of Cup of Cold Water Ministries founder, Odell Kittelson. Being new to CCWM and not yet on the mission field, I was eager to absorb any word of advice I could receive from those who had gone before, and Beth Alexander was a source I was all ears to listen to. However, what she said not only bothered me in the instant, but it shifted my belief system about parenting forever onward.
“As you head out to Mongolia, I wanted to remind you that your children’s happiness will no longer be your top priority, and this is okay. Your priority now is to obey God. You will love your children and do your best to protect them, but you will not always be able to make them happy as you obey God.”
To be honest, Beth’s advice startled me a bit, and it didn’t sit quite right with what I had always believed my role to be as a parent up until that point. I thanked her for sharing with me and tucked her words away in my heart. It wouldn’t be long before I would understand those words and be very grateful for her willingness to give me the heads up regarding what was to come.
In the next few years, my children would experience MISERY.
I would be forced to come to terms with Beth’s advice when faced with the reality that if I continued to obey God and take the Gospel to unreached communities in Mongolia, I could no longer keep my children happy.
Trust me when I say writing about this years after the fact is much easier than living it. But here is what I learned. It was worth it. Although it may have seemed my children were withering at the time, they eventually flourished. The life they lived, sometimes unhappily, on the mission field carved out a road for them to know God in deeper ways, to see His bigger plan for us, to fight off the wolves of selfishness, materialism, and lostness that may have swallowed them whole had they not lived a bit “unhappily.”
Nik Ripken addresses Lie#5 head on when he writes,
“The Western church often idolizes its children. Bargaining with God and holding back our children so that they might experience ‘the good life’ of the American dream is to believe a lie that ultimately causes the church to deny the Nations the best the Father has to offer. And it ushers in the demise of the church itself. ”
This lie assumes that to stay, guarantees something it does not. Who is to say what may have become of my children, my family, had we chosen to not obey? It is audacious of me to have thought disobedience would have guaranteed a ‘good life’.
The Gift of Staying Power
CCWM Ministry Leader Mariela Villegas with CCWM Executive Director Dan Hennenfent undisclosed location.
More recently, I was astounded by the staying power a CCWM Ministry Leader’s parents gave her. Their gift was perhaps the most necessary of all, and I wondered if they realized it. Mariela is a CCWM Ministry leader from Bolivia, serving in an undisclosed location in the Middle East. Use your imagination, and you’re probably right about how dangerous it is for her to serve the Lord there. After serving just six months, she has already experienced ministry partners being threatened with arrest, other ministry partners being kicked out of the country and a personal assault that was way too close to becoming lethal. When asked about her family back in Bolivia, she tearfully spoke,
“They are praying and encouraging me to stay where the Lord is directing me.”
I listened in awe.
Mariela is reaching the unreached in the hardest to reach places of the globe. She also is a woman who adores her family. I can imagine the untold amount of pressure and grief she may have had to endure had her family done the natural thing and responded to her dangerous circumstances with a plea to return immediately.
“What risks are we willing to shoulder, including the risks for our wives and children, for the sake of the kingdom of God? When we ask churches in the West this question, there is often a deafening silence; we are still waiting for an answer.”
The cost of sending is nearly as difficult, if not more difficult than the cost of going.
“What is the hardest task? Going? That might be difficult, but that is not the hardest task. Staying? Yes, as we have already noted, that is hard. But the hardest task of all may be sending, giving and blessing our own sons and daughters to serve the Nations. ”
If you’re reading this as a family member of a missionary, your role is greater than you may imagine. To minimalism, the effect of the responses of those the missionary leaves behind is to ignore the whole body of Christ in action. Thank you for your part in the Great Commission.
“When the Body of Christ recaptures the true responsibility of sending loved ones to the Nations, it will either experience a profound season of mission renewal, or it will stop sending. ”
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